Next Semester

WOAH.

Today it dawned on me that I'LL MISS YOU. Next semester, you'll be in a different course. I won't get to see you everyday. There would be no reason for me to talk to you. Just when we're just starting to be close, you went away.

I wondered how that would feel starting November 7. If now, on our semestral break, I'm missing you then how would that feel next semester?

I know I didn't tell you that I'll miss you; but I'll definitely miss you not only as someone who likes you but as a friend too.

Dirty Little Secret

since i can't post stuff about me liking you (again) or anything that would express my feelings for you in Facebook, Y!M, Twitter ang Plurk coz of our blockmates, i'll just write about them here in Blogspot where no one knows who I am and where I would prefer strangers knowing about my feelings for you. so yeah.

hello, readers! if you are reading my blog, it's just about my unrequited feelings for my blockmate ( i'm in college, btw) whom i've feelings for the past 1 1/2 years that i've known him. feel free to comment. thank you very much

Facebook stat

You tagged me. That's a first.

I don't know what to say.

SEMBREAK

it's the first day of sembreak (YAY!) and i got to spend it with my high school friends and my blockmates (YAY!)

i had lunch with my HS friends then went to my blockamate's house for our sem-ender party thing. i didn't expect him to be there coz it's not really his thing to go to our block things unless she was there --by she, i mean the girl blockmate that she's closest with. so anyway, he was there and i (admit) was a little jealous. GOD, WHY AM I AFFECTED? i found out that he picked up our other girl blockmate who, by the way, "used" to liked him (FYI, i still think she's not over him) GAAAAHH!! they were freakin' alone in his car for about 30-45 mins :(( asdfghjkl

we were playing rockband. i think he was singing Creep by Radiohead. it was the first time that i actually heard him sing a song seriously. as i was watching him sing, i realized something. i was certain that i was gonna miss him for the whole semestral break. THIS WAS SO LIKE LAST YEAR'S SEMBREAK. NOOOOOOOOO~!!! I AM FALLING FOR HIM AGAIN. WHY AM I SO PATHETIC? THIS IS THE 4TH-5TH THAT I'VE FALLEN FOR HIM IN THE SPAN OF 1 1/2 YEARS THAT I'VE KNOWN HIM. AND WE'RE NOT THAT EVEN CLOSE AND YET...

I WON'T SEE HIM FOR 3 WEEKS. THERE'S NO REASON FOR US TO TALK. HE IS ALWAYS INVISIBLE AT Y!M.... yeah. it's another i-am-deprived-of-my-crush break for me. :(

TAGLISH

Today, you actually held my hand. well. not fully but you got my right arm, turned it, opened my palm and gave me my cellphone back. our fingers touched. i was happy to feel and realized that it actually happened pero syempre sayo, wala lang yun. lagi naman eh. :(

kanina pinatong mo ang mga kamay mo sa balikat ko. nagulat ako dahil alam kong ginagawa mo lang iyon sa mga ka-close mo( T and M). does that mean that we're getting closer? di ko alam pero sa mga nakaraang linggo, lagi mo na lang akong kinukulit and inaasar. i don't know but i think that i'm liking the attention :|

Today, you told me that my (red) hair was hot. Kahapon, tinawag mo akong cool.

dahil mababaw ako, sinusulat ko ang mga close-encounters natin dahil minsan lang mangyari yun.

kahapon, sinabihan mo ako ng THERE'S STILL HOPE. alam kong pabiro lang iyon. medyo nainis pa nga ako at nasabi kong ang kapal ng mukha mo.

nung lumayo ako, bigla akong napangiti ako at palihim na tumingin sa direksyon mo.

I wonder why

I wonder why I don't like it when you stare at me when it's the only time that you actually notice me

I wonder why I like to secretly look at you from the back

I wonder why I always want to get you to notice me and feel so happy inside whenever you do

I wonder why I'd get jealous whenever I learn that you're with that girl

I wonder why my heart sinks whenever you leave early

I wonder why I'd feel so kilig whenever I have physical contact with you

I wonder why I'd feel ko kilig when you make landi with me

I wonder why I listen to that song whenever I feel like there is hope

I wonder why a little part of me feels like you're the guy for me

I wonder why I keep on falling for you

I wonder why I just can't seem to get over you because it's so sad :'(

DEAR MR. YOU'RE-MY-FRIEND-SO-I-CAN'T-LIKE-YOU

I want to fall for you but i just CAN'T...anymore. I value you more as a friend than someone who's more than a friend because you're one of my closest guy buddies. yeah, sure i used to like you but I always thought that YOU ARE MY FRIEND and I just want to keep our relationship in that context--which is FRIENDSHIP. i guess the facebook page Between our laughs, long talks, stupid fights & jokes...I fell in love really says it all. Well, not really love but more of like. I just found myself falling. I loved how we talked during class, breaks and even in y!m. I never really instigated any conversation with you. You were always the one who started the conversation (personal or cyber). You were always the one who approached me, teased me, joked with me and many more. I really appreciated those. I felt like I was your special friend coz you were to me.

It all started on the last day of classes for the year 2009-slash-Christmas Party day. We were practically together all day. i mean we've talked quite often before but i believe that that day marked the beginning of a great friendship or rather, redefined a ongoing good friendship. I remember we played pusoy dos the whole afternoon because the others still had classes and some went to the lantern parade in the nearby university. WE REALLY BONDED ON THAT DAY BECAUSE WE WERE STUCK WITH EACH OTHER. The next day, (you weren't able to stay longer because of a family trip) you gm-ed the most touching message I’ve ever received from a guy friend much more from a guy. at the end of the message, you said that you only texted that message to 6 people from the block, 4 boys and 2 girls. I was deeply touched because you considered me as a close friend. I didn't expect that. I replied with this--> "aww Mr. You're-my-friend-so-i-can't-like-you, thank you. We surely missed you last night. i hope you can stay longer next time." because of this, I spent my Christmas vacation on the computer, chatting with you. It became a habit. When the second semester started, I always looked forward going online because I knew you would im me. ALWAYS. HAHA. Yeah. Come 6.30 pm, I would patiently wait for you to im me. From 6.30 until 9.30, we would chat on a (almost) daily basis. Why 9.30? coz you have to go to bed already. HAHA but WOAH. 3 hours?? On a daily basis?? And to think we’re with each other everyday. Damn. How could I not fall?

I just noticed that something has changed with me when I started getting jealous whenever you’d talk to other girls instead of me. I’d hate it when you would walk beside someone else and not me. I was upset on the nights you would not im me. I HATED NOT HAVING YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION, OK? Yeah, I know—possessive much?? I don’t know. I just wanted it to be you and me but i knew that that was impossible coz we’re going to meet a lot more people and you’re bound to get closer with the other girls in the block and that’s exactly what’s happening now.

It came to a point where I thought you’re my best friend. (I only had 1 best friend before and that was 8 years ago. We lost contact now and I haven’t heard anything from her since I transferred school.) I was hurt when you told me that my best friend was K****. I wanted to tell you that you’re my best friend but instead, I blurted out that I don’t have a best friend. You had this sad look in your eyes. A part of me felt that you wanted me to say that you’re my best friend. I wished for you to ask me to have you as a best friend. *sigh*

TO BE CONTINUED...