I want to fall for you but i just CAN'T...anymore. I value you more as a friend than someone who's more than a friend because you're one of my closest guy buddies. yeah, sure i used to like you but I always thought that YOU ARE MY FRIEND and I just want to keep our relationship in that context--which is FRIENDSHIP. i guess the facebook page Between our laughs, long talks, stupid fights & jokes...I fell in love really says it all. Well, not really love but more of like. I just found myself falling. I loved how we talked during class, breaks and even in y!m. I never really instigated any conversation with you. You were always the one who started the conversation (personal or cyber). You were always the one who approached me, teased me, joked with me and many more. I really appreciated those. I felt like I was your special friend coz you were to me.
It all started on the last day of classes for the year 2009-slash-Christmas Party day. We were practically together all day. i mean we've talked quite often before but i believe that that day marked the beginning of a great friendship or rather, redefined a ongoing good friendship. I remember we played pusoy dos the whole afternoon because the others still had classes and some went to the lantern parade in the nearby university. WE REALLY BONDED ON THAT DAY BECAUSE WE WERE STUCK WITH EACH OTHER. The next day, (you weren't able to stay longer because of a family trip) you gm-ed the most touching message I’ve ever received from a guy friend much more from a guy. at the end of the message, you said that you only texted that message to 6 people from the block, 4 boys and 2 girls. I was deeply touched because you considered me as a close friend. I didn't expect that. I replied with this--> "aww Mr. You're-my-friend-so-i-can't-like-you, thank you. We surely missed you last night. i hope you can stay longer next time." because of this, I spent my Christmas vacation on the computer, chatting with you. It became a habit. When the second semester started, I always looked forward going online because I knew you would im me. ALWAYS. HAHA. Yeah. Come 6.30 pm, I would patiently wait for you to im me. From 6.30 until 9.30, we would chat on a (almost) daily basis. Why 9.30? coz you have to go to bed already. HAHA but WOAH. 3 hours?? On a daily basis?? And to think we’re with each other everyday. Damn. How could I not fall?
I just noticed that something has changed with me when I started getting jealous whenever you’d talk to other girls instead of me. I’d hate it when you would walk beside someone else and not me. I was upset on the nights you would not im me. I HATED NOT HAVING YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION, OK? Yeah, I know—possessive much?? I don’t know. I just wanted it to be you and me but i knew that that was impossible coz we’re going to meet a lot more people and you’re bound to get closer with the other girls in the block and that’s exactly what’s happening now.
It came to a point where I thought you’re my best friend. (I only had 1 best friend before and that was 8 years ago. We lost contact now and I haven’t heard anything from her since I transferred school.) I was hurt when you told me that my best friend was K****. I wanted to tell you that you’re my best friend but instead, I blurted out that I don’t have a best friend. You had this sad look in your eyes. A part of me felt that you wanted me to say that you’re my best friend. I wished for you to ask me to have you as a best friend. *sigh*
TO BE CONTINUED...
